Spicy Slow-Roasted Tomato Hummus & Pita Chips

It's been a while since I posted an actual recipe, so here goes:
Sometime in 2010, I made an incredibly delicious spicy tomato hummus that looked like vomit but tasted like heaven (coining the term heavom).  Since then, I've been on a quest to recreate the recipe since I didn't write the original down.  Finally, two years later, I think I've approximated it (more or less).  I give you: Spicy Slow-Roasted Tomato Hummus with Homemade Pita Chips!

STEP 1: SLOW-ROASTED TOMATOES

Slow-roasted tomatoes are really very easy - it's kind of the same process as making raisins out of grapes - you're just slowly drying the tomatoes out.  They range from hot and flavorful to sun-dried, depending on how long you leave them in the oven for.  Basically, you just put those suckers on a baking pan, coat them in olive oil, salt, and pepper (you can add other spices or garlic if you want to get fancy).  Then, you leave the tomatoes in the oven for a very long time (2-3 hours) at a very low temperature (around 200-250 degrees Fahrenheit).  Just check on them after the two hour mark and take them out when they're at the desired chewiness.  I'll usually use 1 package of dumpstered cherry tomatoes for this, but any type will suffice.  You can also use slow-roasted tomatoes in breakfast dishes (divine with a poached egg), bruscettas, tomato sauce, etc.  Add some garlic in the pan to roast for fun. 

STEP 2: SLOW-ROASTED TOMATO HUMMUS

 Using the slow-roasted tomatoes, the next step can either be very hard or very easy, depending on whether or not you have a food processor.  If you do, you're in luck - you get the easy road.  Otherwise, get ready - you're in for a lot of cutting, mashing, and pain.

Ingredients:
- 1 can chickpeas
- Your slow-roasted tomatoes
- Juice from 1/2 an orange (or OJ from the carton in a pinch) - this is crucial as it brightens the flavor of the hummus considerably
- Juice from 1/2 a lemon or lime
- 2 tbsp tahini (the first time I did this, I made my own tahini, which involves roasting sesame seeds and painstakingly hand-crushing them while adding olive oil.  I don't recommend making your own tahini unless you're a sadist)
- 2-5 tbsp olive oil
-1-2 cloves roasted garlic (optional)
- 1-3 cloves fresh, peeled garlic
- 1-3 tsp cayenne pepper (to taste)
- 1 tsp cumin (to taste)
- salt & pepper to taste
- If you're not using tomatoes, sometimes a tsp or two of water will be needed.

Throw it all in the food processor.  Otherwise, have fun mashing and mixing the ingredients.  If you choose this route, there's a high likelihood that you will be crying by the end of the process.

Makes roughly 6-8oz. 

STEP 3: HOMEMADE PITA CHIPS

Homemade pita chips are perfect for when your pita bread is starting to go slightly stale, or if you got way too much from the dumpster.  You can use pita chips like any regular salty snack by themselves, or you can use them for dipping in hummus, salsa, or cream cheese based dips.  It's really simple (I wonder why people buy pita chips at all): cut your pita into 8ths, then use a brush to brush olive oil on each side of each chip, laying your chips on a tin foil-covered baking sheet when you're finished.  Add salt, pepper, and whatever else (garlic powder, basil, oregano) to taste.  Next, put your pita wedges in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 10-20 minutes, depending on your oven.  Check on them every so often to make sure they aren't burning, and flip them about half way through.

Items not dumpstered or donated: Olive oil, spices, tahini

Fried Plantains & Plantain Chips

I lived for a time in La Fortuna, Costa Rica, a small to medium-sized tourist town next to a volcano (volcan Arenal), a very large lake, and a very famous waterfall. I was there fulfilling my near lifelong dream of working in the rain forest as a zipline canopy tour guide. My life there ended up being much less and much more than I had initially imagined. I lived in a small boarding house room with concrete walls and a tin roof. I loved eating in town since the open air "kitchen" in the boarding house was comprised of a sink, a propane stove that got stolen when one of the other tenants skipped town about half way through my stay, and a refrigerator that was never plugged in, therefore serving as a place to store food away from bugs, but not really a place to keep food cold. Needless to say, it was hard to cook food in that kitchen.

Many of the restaurants in town were expensive tourist traps, but my two favorites were called "sodas." Basically, a soda is the Costa Rican equivalent of a soul food joint. It serves good local food for cheap. One of the sodas (pictured above) was on my way to work in the jungle and served the best hamburger I've had in my entire life (the man pointed to a cow in the field and basically said "you're eating one of those. we killed it a few days ago"). The other was on the main street going through town, right on the plaza (town square). It was here that I ate my first plantain, fried up as a side dish with some beef tongue and rice.

To say I love fried plantains would be understating the truth. Every time I think about, let alone eat fried plantains, I'm transported back to the Soda a la Parada in the heart of La Fortuna, looking out onto the street, trying to overhear and translate conversations at neighboring tables, enjoying the humidity, and missing home.

This was the first time I ever dumpstered plantains, so I was obviously pretty elated.


FRIED PLANTAINS or PLANTAIN CHIPS

Ingredients:
- 1 plantain
- 1/2 cup(ish) cooking oil - I used safflower because I had it leftover from an old roommate, but I'd probably use veggie oil normally. Olive oil or canola is fine, but it will make the taste a little heavier.

Heat your oil in a pan.
Peel your plantain - the browner the plantain skin, the sweeter it will taste when fried up. If the skin is green at all, it will taste a little starchier.
Cut slices a little thinner than 1". (If you want crispy chips, slice them SUPER thin).
When the oil is hot enough that it spits at you when you sprinkle water on it, add your plantain slices. The oil should come about half way up your plantains.
After a few minutes, flip them over. They should have browned but not burned. This will make the outsides nice and crispy.
When both sides are browned, move your slices to a paper towel to drain some of the oil off.
Enjoy!

Items not dumpstered or donated: ZERO!

Kale Chips

So, I love kale. This is not a secret. It's really good for you and tastes amazing. It turns out, my friend Justin ALSO loves kale. He gave me a sticker from this website that lives on my tea thermos now. He also brought kale chips to the climbing gym one day to share. A bunch of the kids that I coach tried them with varied reactions. Some thought they were the weirdest thing ever, some couldn't get enough of them and went back for seconds and thirds.

In my experience, this volatile range of emotions is typical for folks trying kale for the first time. Some people just aren't used to its slightly bitter flavor. Still, there are ways to cook it where it's not as bitter as it's cracked up to be. Kale chips are often cited as a "great way for kids to eat their vegetables" because they have a consistency and flavor similar to a potato chip...but aren't deep fried in oil and are much healthier for you.

I had never made kale chips before, so I asked for Justin's recipe. I had planned to munch on them as a snack throughout the week, but unfortunately I ate them all within an hour of making them...they were just too good. Oops?

The other bunch of kale I dumpstered from the same trip I used to make my sweet & savory kale for dinner this week. In hindsight, I probably should've just made more kale chips...omnomnom.

KALE CHIPS

Ingredients:
- 1 bunch kale
- A few tablespoons olive oil (enough to coat the kale)
- Salt to taste
- Red pepper flakes & garlic powder to taste (optional)

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees Fahrenheit.
Cover a cookie sheet in tin foil.
Rip kale into about 2-3 inch pieces, removing it from the stalk and placing the pieces in a bowl. Note - I really like to eat the stalks raw while I'm preparing the rest of the kale chips. They're a sweet, yummy snack that're a little like the texture of raw asparagus in your mouth (which I love). So many people throw out the stalks instead of cooking them for a little longer than the leaves or eating them straight. That's wasteful and stupid.
Pour enough olive oil in the bowl so that when you toss the kale with your hand, it coats everything.
Put however much salt you want in there with the kale. I also added garlic salt and crushed red pepper to my kale chips as an experiment for some extra flavor, but plain salt & pepper is also really great.
Another note: If you're suddenly struck by laziness and don't want to make kale chips, the oil-doused kale is actually incredibly delicious at this point before you stick it in the oven. I could probably eat the kale just like this and be completely happy...but, if you want kale chips, continue...
Place kale pieces in rows on your cookie sheet (you'll probably need more than one). Be careful that they don't touch at their edges.
Stick them in the oven for 20 minutes, taking them out about half way through to flip the chips over.
Watch your chips carefully. They should brown at their edges, but not burn. If they need a few extra minutes, let them hang out in the oven. I took one of my batches out too early and they were a little oily/chewy still, which still tasted fine but wasn't very crispy and chip-like.
Store in a tupperware so they don't crumble. They don't need to be refrigerated and will last a few weeks to a month on the shelf.

Items not dumpstered or donated: Olive oil, spices.

Sweet Potato Fries with Spicy Garlic Aoli

I made this recipe to bring to Thanksgiving at my Dad's last year. My nieces and nephews (all under the age of 12 and averse to veggies) loved these, and the aoli elevated the dish so that all the adults were impressed with my "culinary expertise." My family asked me to make these again this year, so I figured I'd share the recipe. At home, I'll usually pair these with a black bean burger or my quinoa burgers (and put the aoli on top of the burgers too)!

SWEET POTATO FRIES WITH SPICY GARLIC AOLI

Ingredients:

Fries:
- 1 large sweet potato, peeled (don't have to peel them, but it makes them more crispy if you do. Also, a good rule of thumb is to ration about 1 sweet potato per person if you're cooking for more than just yourself or a friend).
- 2 tbsp olive oil
- Salt, pepper, paprika, and cinnamon to taste

Preheat your oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.
While you wait for it to heat up, peel and cut your sweet potato into 1/2" thick sticks. Try to keep really pointy ends from being there, as they burn easily.
In a ziploc bag, put in your olive oil and spices.
Throw your sweet potatoes in and give the bag a good shake so that everything covers the sweet potato (this step is especially fun if you're making this with a kid as your helper. Put on some music and shake around!).
Put your potatoes spread evenly on a baking sheet with tin foil over it.
Bake in the oven for 20-30 minutes, turning your fries over in the middle (at 10 or 15 minute mark - different ovens will take different times to make the fries crispy). When your fries begin to brown, it's time to take them out.
Dry your fries on a paper towel, add some extra salt and pepper, and serve!

You can make oven fries with regular potatoes too. Just bring down the cooking time to like 10-20 minutes because regular potatoes will burn more easily.

Aoli (don't use this if you're vegan unless you have vegan mayonnaise):
- 1/3 cup Mayonnaise (bonus points if it's homemade)
- 1-2 tbsp sriracha sauce
- 2-3 cloves garlic
- 1 tsp Lemon or lime juice (I used lemon)
- pepper & salt to taste (I used about 1 tsp pepper and 1-2 tsp salt)
- 1-3 tbsp cayenne pepper (depending on how spicy you like it)
- 1/2 tsp cumin

So, the funny thing about aoli is: it's just a fancy word for mayonnaise. You put stuff in it to make it taste better, but it's usually just mayonnaise (yeah - all those fancy restaurants that have "aoli" somewhere on the menu? It's because they're too chicken to just call it what it is so you're actually willing to pay more money and think it's healthy or high-class or something).

To make it, you just mix all the ingredients together until it tastes good. Up the quantities of everything if you want more aoli to dip into or if you're putting it on top of a burger.

Items not donated or dumpstered: olive oil, garlic, spices, sriracha sauce

Granola with Dried Cherries

Driving to a coffee shop to hang out with my Stepmom Maryann, we got to talking about what I had recently dumpstered and how I was going to use it...

"I have no idea what I'm going to do with 6 packages of cherries. Maybe freeze them for smoothies or make cobbler? I have to think fast..."
"I'll take a package," Maryann offered.
"What?"
"I'll take a package" she repeated.
"Wait. Since when are you okay with eating dumpstered food?"
"Since now, I guess. I love cherries. I've been really curious about your dumpstering. Your Dad isn't into it, but I'd love to go with you sometime and see what it's all about as long as we don't get arrested. It's like an adventure...and we don't have to tell your father where the food came from."
"It's mostly late at night..."
"That's okay. I'll take a nap or something."

This is REALLY exciting for me. One of my parents interested in DUMPSTERING? Up until now, the only people I've known who dumpster are under the age of 35. For some reason, I had just assumed older people weren't into it. I assumed they have the luxury of affording store-bought food and aren't as invested about landfill usage (or something silly like that).

So, my mind is blown and I'm completely looking forward to opening the world of dumpstering up to my Stepmom. Keep your eyes peeled for an ultra action-packed SENIOR CITIZEN edition of Trash to Table coming up soon!

In the mean time, here's what my Stepmom Maryann recommended I do with my extra cherries - dry them out. Dehydrating fruits and vegetables is a great way to make them last. In the case of cherries, you can add them to granola, cereal, or trail mix, or just munch on them for a snack! I ended up putting them in some home made granola.

DRIED CHERRIES

Ingredients:

- However many cherries you have

Cut your cherries in half (composting the pits) and put them skin side down on a baking sheet covered with tin foil or an oven rack where the cherries won't fall through.
I have a confectioner's oven (which is ideal for dehydrating foods), since it keeps a constant temperature and flow of air going through the oven. However, if you don't have one, you'll need to get a very accurate thermometer for your oven and keep it at a constant temperature of 135 degrees Fahrenheit.
Keep the cherries in there for 8-10 hours (overnight is usually a safe bet if you rotate trays and make sure things aren't burning about halfway through the night).

GRANOLA

Granola is great for breakfast, or you can add chocolate chips and turn it into trail mix (I did this to take on an overnight climbing job and it was awesome).

Ingredients:
- 4 cups rolled oats
- 2 cups flax seed meal
- 1/2 cup sunflower seeds (unsalted, unroasted, shelled)
- 1 cup almond slices
- 1/2 cup pecans (chopped)
- 1/2 cup cashews (chopped)
- 1 tsp salt
- 1/4 cup brown sugar
- 2 tbsp maple syrup
- 1/3 cup honey
- 1/2 cup vegetable oil
- 1.5 tsp cinnamon
- 2 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 + 1/4 cup raisins and/or dried cranberries
- 2 cups shredded coconut
- A sprinkle of nutritional yeast (optional)
- (I also added some leftover toasted pumpkin seeds I had)


I ended up putting freshly dumpstered strawberries on top of my granola too!

So, start by preheating your oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit and covering a large baking sheet with tin foil.
Next, combine all the nuts, seeds, oats, and flax seed meal.
In a small pot, combine all the wet ingredients as well as the salt, brown sugar, and cinnamon. Bring it to a boil at around medium heat, then turn the burner off IMMEDIATELY.
Pour it over the nut mixture and stir it around, then spread the stuff on your baking sheet.
Bake it in the oven for around 20-30 minutes, until it's toasted and a bit crispy, maybe stirring once or twice along the way. Take it out to cool down (it will get crispier as it cools).
Stir in your raisins and dried cherries. DONE.
Store in a cool, dry place.

Items not dumpstered or donated: Rolled oats (from the Beet Food Co-Op), sunflower seeds, almonds, honey, spices, vanilla extract, coconut

BANANAS!

I have the good fortune of dumpstering bananas often, usually in large numbers. Even dumpstering 1/8th of the bananas in the dumpster will usually yield up to 10 bunches.

Bananas are great, because they're pretty easily frozen and keep for a long time, regardless of how ripe they were when you got them initially. You can use them for smoothies, vegan banana ice cream (just mash up with a little cinnamon, brown sugar, and nutmeg. Freeze it and you're set), or one of my personal favorites: banana bread.


Banana bread is great for a lot of reasons.

1) I'm poor. Gift-giving times like pot lucks, birthdays, or Christmas can be difficult on the rent money, so finding cheaper, home-made alternatives to give as gifts is awesome. If you make a seriously yummy loaf of banana bread and wrap it with a jar of Nutella (less than $3) to spread on top, you just made someone's tummy very happy.
2) As stated before: banana bread + Nutella. GREAT.
3) Banana bread can be used as breakfast food AND snack food AND dessert food. Look at that versatility!
4) Overripe or defrosted bananas are actually ideal for making banana bread, so it's a dumpster diver's dream!

I'm still experimenting with finding the best banana bread recipe, so I'd encourage you to find one online or through your family that seems to be popular or to your liking (vegan, gluten-free, low-fat, etc.) until my recipe is fine-tuned enough to post.

To prepare you, most (non-vegan) banana bread recipes call for:

Ingredients:

- 3-4 bananas
- Butter
- Sugar (brown or white)
- 1 Egg
- Vanilla
- Baking soda
- Pinch of salt
- Flour
- Chocolate chips (optional)
- 1 loaf pan (most grocery stores will sell recyclable/disposable loaf pans if you're giving the bread as a gift or taking it to a pot luck).

If you're defrosting the bananas - be forewarned - there's usually some liquid at the bottom of your container once they defrost. This is NORMAL. Just discard the liquid and add maybe 1 more banana than your recipe called for (like, if it says to use 3, go with 4).

Also, I usually freeze bananas with their skins on. This just means that you need to cut them off before you put them in a smoothie or make vegan ice cream.

Also, don't be afraid if your bananas have brown spots. This is also normal.

Items not dumpstered or donated: Butter, egg, vanilla, baking soda, salt, flour (from the sadly now-defunct Beet Food Co-op)

Shrimp Burrito Taco Thingies & Guacamole

The meal I had the other night was perfect. PERFECT! It was filling and delicious and fresh and (other than the 2 avocados), pretty low on calories if you care about that sort of thing. It was one of those magic moments where you realize all the ingredients you have on hand are exactly what you need to make something awesome happen.


SHRIMP BURRITO TACO THINGIES

I'm just writing down what I made. If you're vegetarian or vegan, things can be substituted or removed and you'll still have a pretty hearty meal at the end of the day.

Ingredients:

- 8 raw shrimp (or protein of some other sort - black beans, black eyed peas, chicken, whatever)
- 1 clove garlic
- Guacamole (see recipe below to make at home)
- 2 tbsp red onion, diced
- 2 tsp green pepper, diced
- 2 tsp red pepper, diced
- 2 tsp mango, diced (previously frozen and thawed)
- 0.5-1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese (optional)
- Juice of 0.5 lime
- Lime zest (CRUCIAL)
- 1 tbsp butter (or olive oil)
- 1 cup cooked wild rice (or whatever kind you have on hand - I just love the flavor and texture of wild rice)
- 2 wraps
- Salt, red pepper flakes, pepper, and cilantro to taste

Cook your rice. With about 10 minutes left to go, start cooking everything else.
Marinate raw shrimp for 5 minutes in lime juice with lime zest, salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes.
Melt butter in a pan on medium-high. Throw in your shrimp to cook. At the last moment, throw in 1 clove of minced garlic. While you're waiting for the shrimp to cook, start cutting your other ingredients and make your guacamole.
Once the shrimp is done, cut it up and put it aside.
Clean your pan or get a new one. Put one of your wraps in it on medium-low heat.
Shred as much cheddar as you want on the bottom of it and spread a liberal amount of guacamole next to it. Add your shrimp (so it stays warm). Sprinkle the other ingredients and fresh cilantro on top and cook until the cheese is melted (maybe 2 minutes or less).
Remove from the burner and make a second burrito taco thingy.
Wrap it up and enjoy!
You can now add hot sauce, sour cream, or whatever else you might want. I personally love how fresh all the ingredients were in this, so I didn't want to sully them with any extra nonsense.

After I was finished, I had extra guacamole left over. Luckily, I still had some tortilla chips from a BBQ at my house a month or two ago, so I polished off the rest of the guac in no time! Honestly, I would have eaten it straight, though...

GUACAMOLE

This is the simplest guacamole I know how to make. You can always jazz it up with cilantro, tomatoes, lime juice instead of lemon, jalapeno, and other spicy stuff. You can blend cheese into it...the options are limitless. This is my Mom's really easy recipe that always tastes awesome and takes about 1 minute total to make.

Ingredients:

- 2 ripe avocados (if you get them the day before you eat them, put them in a sealed brown paper bag overnight and they'll ripen faster).
- 2 tsp lemon juice (some acid is necessary if you plan on keeping it more than 1 day - the acid is what keeps it from going brown)
- 2 cloves of garlic, minced
- Salt to taste

Quarter the avocados and put them in a bowl. Mash up with a fork (you can also use a food processor for this part, but it takes more time during cooking and clean-up, so I forgo it).
Mix in minced garlic and lemon juice.
Mix in salt to taste. Beware - if you're using the guacamole with chips, most tortilla chips are already super salty and can ruin the guacamole experience if you've over-salted it. This needs to be synergy in your mouth.
DONE.

This makes a great snack or pot luck item OR YOU CAN SPREAD IT ON ANYTHING (sandwiches, burritos, bagels, pizza...it's pretty easy to get creative with it).

Items not dumpstered or donated: Butter, bell peppers (from my garden), cilantro (from my garden), rice, garlic, shrimp

Skurvy Killer Smoothie

So, my current roommate, Ryan, has an interesting diet...he only eats red meat (burgers & steak), bacon, cake, and vanilla whey protein shakes with milk. I have also seen him eat plain pizza a few times.

He takes multivitamins (I hope), because otherwise I think he'd get scurvy.

What is scurvy, you say?

It's "a disease marked by swollen and bleeding gums, livid spots on the skin, prostration, etc. due to a diet lacking in vitamin c." It was most commonly seen among sailors who were out at sea for long periods of time before the era of refrigeration.

So, basically it's disgusting.

One of my favorite breakfast treats is a perfect remedy for Ryan the Roommate: THE SKURVY KILLER SMOOTHIE (too bad he hates all fruit and would never drink this even though it's amazing):

SKURVY KILLER SMOOTHIE

Ingredients:

An ever-changing line-up of:
- Any berries
- Bananas
- Pineapple
- Mango
- Papaya
- Orange juice (freshly squeezed or otherwise)
- Apples
- Etc.
- Plain or vanilla yogurt (which can be left out if you're vegan)
- A tinge of honey (which can be left out if you're vegan)

It's a super-refreshing way to start your day. I like to drink mine on our porch's picnic table in the sun. I usually will freshly juice some oranges if I have them, then put a mixture of fresh fruit recently picked from the dumpster and frozen fruit as a replacement for ice (since ice just waters down your smoothie) into a blender. It never gets old, because you can continually change the ingredients based on what's in season, your mood, and what the dumpster has to offer.

It literally takes 5 min. or less, and it's also a healthy snack in between meals. NOMZ.
The smoothie pictured above included strawberries, mango, banana, pineapple (both fresh & frozen), kiwi (previously frozen), freshly squeezed orange juice, blueberries (previously frozen), and a drizzle of honey.

Items not dumpstered or donated: Honey

Less Lazy, More Yummy - Apple Danish

I know I recently made an apple post, but this recipe blows that one out of the water, and is much more versatile in its uses. The last recipe is for when you're lazy and it's late. This recipe is for when you are going to bitch-slap breakfast into next week.

I get apples a lot when I dumpster. Many grocery stores will throw out a whole bag of apples when only one is bruised, wasting up to 10 good apples. I say, why let one bad apple ruin the bunch? There's a lot of creative things you can do with them (apple chips, chutney, apple butter, juice, applesauce, adding cheese/peanut butter for a snack, etc - you'll definitely see more renditions of what to do with apples in the future).

Given all the apple options, making something sweet is kind of a cop-out, and generally unhealthy. Plus, apple desserts rely on using many of your pantry ingredients (which last almost forever) for comparatively few dumpstered ones (a bad ratio for the dumpster diver or penny saver).

Still, this shit's delicious. It's way better than any danish I've gotten at the store. You can eat it for breakfast on-the-go, a snack, or dessert for a large dinner party or pot luck (I'm saving mine for an upcoming road trip). This recipe makes a full 11" x 17" pan of danish, so it'll last you a long time, which is nice, considering it takes about an hour to make. Just pop it in the toaster oven to reheat.

APPLE DANISH

Ingredients:

Crust (you can buy pre-made pastry crust, too):
- 3 cups flour
- 1 tsp salt
- 1 cup shortening (I used vegetable shortening, but butter is fine too).
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1 egg yolk, beaten (If you don't know how to separate eggs, let an adorable French man in this video teach you how) - make sure to keep the egg white for later.

Filling:
- Around 6 cups thinly sliced, peeled, & cored granny smith apples (I think I used 6 granny smiths and 1.5 gala apples).
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 2 tbsp flour
- 1 tsp cinnamon
- Sprinkle of nutmeg
- 1/4 cup butter
- 1 egg white, beaten

Glaze (Optional):
- 1.5 cups powdered sugar
- 1/8 tsp salt
- 1-2 tsp vanilla (put in one, then if it tastes too sugary, add another splash)
- 3 tbsp milk

For Crust:
Mix flour, salt, cut in shortening (I used a pastry cutter, but a whisk or fork will work fine).
Combine milk and egg yolk and add to flour mixture.
Roll out half the mixture on an 11 x 17 inch pan (Now, I don't have a rolling pin, but this doesn't stop me from being a pastry mama - you can use anything round to roll out your crust - I used a to-go coffee mug. In the past I've used wine or beer bottles too).

For Filling:
Arrange apples evenly in the crust, like this:
Combine sugar, flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg, then sprinkle over the apples.
Dot evenly with butter.

Roll out remaining pastry and place it over the cinnamon mixture. A cool, easy way to do this is to roll out the crust on saran wrap (which is the same width as your pan anyway), then just flip the whole thing over on top of your pastry and lift up the saran wrap.

Next, brush pastry with egg white - be careful not to let it pool up anywhere or else you'll get a cooked egg part, which tastes really funky and looks ugly.

Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes.

For (Optional) Glaze:
Mix the powdered sugar, salt, vanilla and milk together.
Spread on warm Apple Danish.

So, here it is without glaze:
And with:
Garnish with fresh or cooked apple if you're feeling feisty and want to show off:
IF YOU GLAZE THIS, KEEP IT REFRIGERATED SO IT LASTS.

p.s. I know this is so wrong, but my cat liked it too:
Items not dumpstered or donated (A LOT. Darn.): Flour, salt, shortening, sugar, powdered sugar, milk, butter, cinnamon, nutmeg, egg, salt, vanilla

A Midnight Snack

Sometimes, right before bed, I'll get insane cravings for sweets. Murderous cravings. Nothing can stand in my way.

It must be something about the witching hour, because I usually don't even LIKE sweets all that much (I'm more of the "let's have some fruit and cheese for dessert" kind of gal). Still, when the cravings hit me, they hit hard.

This is a sweet, mildly healthy snack I made on a cold winter's night that gave me just enough sugar to go comatose and sleep for 8 hours (and it used up some apples that were on the verge of going bad)!

GOOEY HOT CINNAMON APPLES


Ingredients:

- 3 small "kid" apples (pretty much any kind of apple other than red delicious should work)
- 1/3 cup brown sugar
- 1 tsp nutmeg
- 1 tsp cinnamon
- 2 tbsp butter

Melt butter in the bottom of a pan.
Add sugar & spices, blending thoroughly.
Throw in quartered apples.
Keep heat on medium-low until apples are soft and your mixture is gooey, stirring occasionally.

FUN FACT: This is basically the beginning step to every apple pastry filling recipe.

OTHER FUN FACT: I begin volunteering at a local food bank starting TOMORROW. Look for a report soon.

Items not dumpstered or donated: Butter, sugar, spices

Homemade Potato Chips - Pt. I (Microwave)

This round of dumpstering, I made a mistake. I took WAY too many potatoes and onions. I thought I'd be able to give them away to friends and co-workers (which I did), but I was still left with far too many. Taking more than you can use is generally frowned-upon in the dumpstering world because other people may dive in your dumpster.

However, wasting food is also frowned upon, and I've never seen evidence of anyone diving in my preferred dumpster, so I don't feel TOO horrible about it. Plus, this was around Thanksgiving (prime dumpster season), so I didn't even go in the dumpster - just the overflow shopping carts around it. I think it's safe to say that no one went hungry as a result of my potatoes and onions.

Having a surplus of random or hard-to-use foods is a regular occurrence. So, you need to get inventive so that you're not stuck being bored by your meals.

After making a LOT of dishes with potatoes, I needed to figure out something else to do with them to preserve them. After craving chips one day, I decided that I needed to learn how to make them myself.


HOMEMADE POTATO CHIPS
(vegan, gluten-free)

Ingredients

0.5 bags Yukon Gold potatoes (approx. 4 potatoes)
1 tbsp (or less) of olive oil/veggie oil/cooking spray
Sea salt to taste (optional w/ lime juice, cayenne, garlic salt, pepper, sugar, etc.)

Peel potatoes, compost skins.
Thinly slice potatoes (2mm or thinner).
Pour oil/spray on plate.
Coat potatoes with oil (you can do this in a ziploc baggie, too).
Add salt, spices, juice, etc. to make your chips yummy.
Place in microwave until browned 5-9 min. (my microwave took 7-9 min. on average)
Place chips on a separate plate to dry (can put paper towel down to absorb oil).

Some advice:

1) Method - This process is VERY trial-and-error, and takes a lot of time for not a lot of chips. Patience is key. There are other methods of making potato chips (oven-crisped and deep frying are popular), but this was my first try, so I can't speak to other ways of production.

2) Toppings - I tried several toppings on my chips. Lime juice & cilantro turned out VERY sour, vinegar was nice (a little goes a long way), salt & pepper was best, sugar was good (but burns easily), garlic powder was okay, and cayenne pepper was great. Get creative!

3) Oils - Whatever oil you choose will determine how greasy your chips are and WILL effect the taste. Good olive oil was my favorite tasting, but it was hard to make the chips super-crispy. Spray olive oil and regular veggie oil made the chips lighter, but didn't taste as good.

4) Presentation - Your chips are going to look UGLY. They'll taste great, but they'll look ugly, burnt, or inedible. Be brave.

Makes about 1 small ziploc bag of chips. Properly wrapped, they'll last a few months.

Stay tuned for more potato chip experiments soon!

Ingredients not dumpstered or donated: olive oil, spices