Eggplant Fritters

Holy shit these tasted amazing.

I admitted to being borderline obsessed with cooking shows in an earlier recipe where I payed homage to Paula Deen, but here's another shout-out to a true OG: Martha Stewart.

Ok, so she's kind of a soulless, lifeless, consumerist, insider-trading demon, but this recipe (http://www.marthastewart.com/338843/eggplant-fritters?center=276955&gallery=274258&slide=262966) for eggplant fritters rocked my world. Go try them immediately. Like really - right now. That pact she made with the devil must've worked out, because DAMN can that woman cook up some eggplant.

I ended up forgoing the frisee salad and balsamic vinegar. instead, I opted to put one of these in a pita to take to work (good choice), but they're fine by themselves or on a salad too.

Items not dumpstered or donated: Olive oil, garlic, spices/herbs (some from garden), Parmesan

Broccoli Cheddar Bake

So, I've always had this idea in my head from childhood that broccoli and cheddar cheese taste good together. Yet, I usually just steam broccoli, throw some butter and salt on it and call it a day (which is essentially the first step of this recipe, so if you want to do that, you can).

I'm usually very anti-anything-remotely-resembling-casserole since it reminds me of '50s housewives (gross) and overly processed leftovers (double gross). Still, I decided to try my own rendition of one, which turned out pretty tasty. It's not as healthy as I'd like, but I think it's definitely better than the very (surprisingly) popular cheese-whiz/onion powder/frozen broccoli versions I found online. It was kind of an experiment, but for a pretty minimal amount of effort I came out with enough food to last me for a week's worth of lunches. Plus, I was right - broccoli and cheddar do taste great together.

BROCCOLI CHEDDAR BAKE

Ingredients:

- 3 heads of broccoli, cut into small florets (use the stem too) (you can use previously dumpstered and frozen broccoli too, but it may not taste as good as the fresh stuff)
- 1 small white onion, diced
- 2 long stalks celery, chopped
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 tbsp chopped fresh rosemary and/or thyme (optional)
- 1 cup mayonaise (bonus if home-made)
- 1 cup sour cream
- 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
- 2 cups uncooked rice
- 1 stick unsalted butter, melted
- 1.5 cups Italian-spiced bread crumbs (extra points if home-made from dumpstered bread) - you can also use crushed up crackers like ritz crackers, which will give it a different but good flavor.
- 1 can or 2 cups leftover cooked chicken (optional - I didn't use this, but it could add some extra protein)
- Salt & pepper to taste

Normally, people use cream cheese or a can of condensed cream of mushroom (or chicken) soup instead of my sour cream/mayo combination, but they were the only ingredients I had on hand and I was hungry.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Step One: Steam your broccoli

Put a weird thingy that looks like this (called a steamer?) in the bottom of a pot with enough water underneath so it barely shows:
Throw your broccoli on top. Turn the stove to medium-high, then cover the pot (be careful that the water doesn't all evaporate or the bottom of your pot will burn). Steam until broccoli is bright green and a fork goes through pretty easily. If you're lazy, you can just throw your cheddar cheese (or butter with some salt) on top and call it a day. This makes a great side dish by itself.

If you're bold enough to continue into the land of house-wifery, then continue to...

Step Two: Put it all together

While you're waiting for the broccoli to steam, mix the onion, celery, garlic, sour cream, rosemary, and mayonnaise in a bowl.
Once the broccoli is finished, dump it onto the bottom of a glass or pyrex baking pan (9"x12" works well).
Evenly cover it in the sour cream/veggie mixture.
Sprinkle your shredded cheddar over the top.
In a separate bowl, mix your melted butter and bread crumbs into a thicker mixture. Sprinkle this on top as well.

Step Three: Wait and make your rice

Throw it in the oven for 30 minutes while you make some rice (it's pretty easy - just read the side of the bag or box of rice - give yourself about 40-50 minutes for it to turn out well, so maybe start boiling your water around when your broccoli is done steaming so everything is done at the same time).

When it comes out, it'll look kind of like this:
Serve the bake by itself or for some added heartiness, put a few scoops of rice underneath! I used brown rice to make the dish last EVEN LONGER.

Items not donated or dumpstered: Butter, sour cream, mayonnaise, garlic, rosemary (from garden), salt, pepper

Eggplant Parmesan

This recipe was made for me on a first date in college. We helped make it together, assembly-line style, which was a cool, interactive way to get to know each other. The guy was a vegetarian and totally won me over (with the recipe). The eggplant was perfectly cooked - not mushy or gross at all like it can be if cooked poorly. Although things didn't work out romantically between the vegetarian and I, we're still buds and I still make his Eggplant Parmesan at least once a month. I have since dated many more culinary vegetarians.

Ingredients:
- 1 large eggplant (the vegetarian told me it's better if the eggplant is uniform in shape because then the medallions cook more evenly. I've experimented with lots of different sizes and it doesn't seem to make a difference to me as long as the slices are the same height).
- 1-2 eggs (depends on size of eggplant)
- Enough flour to cover a plate (about 1 cup, maybe a little more)
- Enough Italian bread crumbs to cover a plate (about 1 cup) - bonus points for homemade dumpster bread crumbs (recipe forthcoming)
- 3/4 jar of tomato sauce (extra bonus points if it's homemade and canned from dumpstered materials)
- 2 cups of shredded skim milk mozzarella cheese
- 1.5 cups of shredded Parmesan cheese
- 2 tbsp olive oil
- Basil, oregano, salt, & pepper to taste

It's easiest to think about this recipe in terms of chunks of actions, I think...so I'll put them down as such:

CHUNK ONE: PREP

Pour flour & breadcrumbs on two separate plates so they thinly cover the surface.
Take a baking sheet and cover with aluminum foil.
Beat your egg(s) in a bowl.
Slice eggplant into about 1/4-1/2" slices.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Start heating olive oil in a large pan at medium/medium-high heat (but not so high a heat that the oil will burn).

CHUNK TWO: COVERING EGGPLANT WITH YUMMY STUFF/COOKING IN THE PAN

Press your eggplant slices in flour so there's a light dusting on each side.
Next, dip the eggplant medallions into your egg, followed by pressing them into the breadcrumbs so they're evenly covered on both sides.
Once a medallion is covered with all the ingredients, throw it in your olive oil. You want a nice golden brown crisp on each side, and ultimately want a fork to barely go through your eggplant if you stick it in near the edge. That's how you know it's ready for...

CHUNK 3: PUTTING THE EGGPLANT ON YOUR BAKING SHEET

Hopefully you'll have started this next step as your eggplant medallions are cooking in the pan or else things will be really awkward (chunks 2 and 3 overlap if you're being efficient). In the picture below, you can see the eggplants cooking in the pan on the right and a few eggplant medallions ready on the baking sheet on the left, with my tomato sauce already prepped for my medallions to be placed on top of...in the middle is the beginning of my ratatouille - recipe forthcoming).


So, you take a teaspoon of sauce and put it on the baking sheet, using the bottom of the spoon to spread it around in a circle (about as large as your medallion).
Place a medallion on top.
Put another teaspoon of sauce on top of your medallion, along with any extra spices you want to add (I use a pinch of basil, oregano, sea salt, and black pepper).
Sprinkle mozzarella and Parmesan on top.

Repeat with all your medallions.

CHUNK 4: THE OVEN AND EATING

Stick that shit in the oven for about 10 minutes (as long as it takes for the cheese to melt and brown a little on the top).
Take it out and enjoy!

The magic of this dish is that the leftovers are just as amazing days later as when you first took the pan out of the oven. You can use a medallion on a burger bun for lunch at work (highly recommended), eat them as a savory late night snack cold, or you can just reheat them normally and eat some with a salad.

Items not dumpstered or donated: Flour (from the now-defunct Beet Food Co-Op), mozzarella, Parmesan, salt, pepper, egg, basil (from garden), oregano (from garden)

Stuffed Portabello Mushrooms

Portabello mushrooms are exciting when you dumpster them. They're usually sealed in plastic wrap with very little wrong with them (if they're baby portabellas it might be because one or two are squishy).

Stuffed portabello mushrooms are a great addition to a barbeque or pot luck, and are extremely versatile. You can use regular sized portabellos, baby ones, cremini mushrooms for a different flavor, keep the recipe vegan, vegetarian, or ULTRA MEAT styled....plus, you can add pretty much whatever you have in the fridge that you've dumpstered recently. There are a million ways to make these, but they always come out delicious regardless because portabella mushrooms are so freaking good.

I'll give my favorite combination of ingredients...my co-worker and one of my BFFs Matt has an even better rendition of this basic recipe that doesn't use tomatoes, but he told me the recipe is an ancient Chinese secret. Basically, you only get to eat his version if you are at a BBQ he's attending. So, you'll just have to settle with my version:

STUFFED PORTABELLA MUSHROOMS


Ingredients:

- 2 portabella mushroom caps, de-stemmed (unfortunately - if they aren't de-stemmed, chop up the stems and add them in with the onions)
- Handful of diced red onions
- 12 Cherry heirloom tomatoes, quartered (any tomatoes will do, though)
- Shredded mozzerella cheese (would have preferred Parmesan in there, but whatever)
- 2 slices of bacon, crumbled (optional for vegetarians)
- 1 clove garlic
- 2 tsp fresh rosemary
- 1 tsp fresh sage
- 1/2 tsp fresh thyme
- 3 tbsp olive oil
- 2 tsp soy sauce
- 1 tsp balsamic vinegar
- 2 tsp lemon juice (preferably fresh)
- Fresh ground pepper, salt, and red pepper flakes to taste
- Sprinkle of fresh parsley
- 2-3 tbsp unsalted butter or earth balance
- Italian seasoned bread crumbs (you can make them yourself from dumpstered bread if you're feeling adventurous - recipe forthcoming)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Make bacon. Set aside on paper towel to be crumbled once dry.
With bacon grease still in the pan (or butter), sautee onions and tomatoes on medium-low until soft. Throw in the garlic for the last 30 seconds so it keeps its flavor.
While that's cooking, mix the olive oil, soy sauce, vinegar, lemon juice, pepper, rosemary, sage, thyme, and red pepper flakes in a bowl thoroughly. Brush the mixture onto your portabella mushroom caps (or marinate them in it if you have time to let them sit).
Once the tomato/onion/garlic mixture is done, put it aside in a bowl.
Add butter to your pan, turning the heat to medium.
Cook your portabellas, brushing your liquid mixture onto them frequently until they are mostly cooked (you can also do this on the grill for better flavor). Once you're finished this part, put them on a baking sheet with tin foil.
Stuff the caps with your tomato/onion/garlic mixture. Add your bacon bits, then top it off with a liberal amount of shredded mozzarella cheese and bread crumbs.
Melt 1-2 tbsp of butter down in your pan, then drizzle it over the breadcrumb top of your mushrooms.
Throw in the oven for about 7-10 minutes until your cheese melts.
Turn your oven to broil (550 degrees) and keep a close eye on your mushrooms - take them out once the tops begin to brown. BEWARE - they will burn quickly!
Take them out, sprinkle with parsley, and you're done!

Items not dumpstered or donated: Bacon, garlic, rosemary (from garden), sage (from garden), thyme (from garden), parsley (from garden), mozzarella, butter, olive oil, soy sauce, balsamic vinegar, pepper & salt